Paper Trail ...

Hey all!

Hope you're having a great day! 

I thought I'd share my experience of keeping a pregnancy journal with you. 

I kept a pregnancy journal from once I had had my first scan (at seven weeks due to a bleed).  I was really worried to do it beforehand just incase something went wrong and I became attached to the idea of having a baby.

I found keeping a journal such a great way of managing my anxiety and feelings.  For some reason I felt a whole lot lighter once I’d put my feelings down on paper.  If I feel brave enough, I may let Arjun read it one day (when I’m ready to accept that I’ll be ok with him thinking that his mummy’s a little loopy!).

I wrote at least once a week and mainly got down my excitement (although it was always tamed throughout my pregnancy as I was petrified of something going wrong) and my anxieties.

My pregnancy journal is really personal to me but I feel like by keeping a journal, I'm sharing my life and experiences of my pregnancy and motherhood so I thought I’d share a small snippet to give you a flavour of some of the emotions I went through. 

This particular extract relates to when I had a gush of water at 12 weeks and was told to come to the hospital immediately.  The doctor thought my waters had broken on examination.  It was such a terrifying experience and the emotions I went through whilst at the hospital were crazy.  Thankfully I had my sister and my mum with me who helped me get through it.  It was a long six hours! It also gave my mum the chance to meet her grandchild. 

 

 

A piece of advice to all pregnant ladies; never ignore any symptoms that are not normal for you or your baby. It's better to be safe than sorry.

I also visited triage on several occasions due to reduced movement and was never snubbed.  I was always monitored and on one occasion I needed a scan as the CTG was unable to detect a steady heartbeat (again a scary experience!). Never ignore your baby or your body no matter how trivial it may seem! 

The Count The Kicks app  is a great way to monitor movement in your third trimester. You can find more information on the organisation here: http://www.countthekicks.org.uk

Thanks for reading x

Young Martyrs

Hello All,

Hope you had a great Christmas! We are slowly recovering from our food coma!!

Being British born and growing up with lots of festivities during Christmas, we celebrated Arjun's first Christmas in full force and we had lots of fun!

At the same time, we have never been allowed to forget our Sikh history and particularly at this time of year, in the Sikh calendar, this period also marks a tremendously important time where we commemorate the courageous martyrs known as the Chaar Sahibzaade. 

In a nutshell, Sahibzada Fateh Singh and Sahibzada Zorawar Singh at the tender ages of 6 and 9 sacrificed their lives for their faith and the right to remain Sikh. Sahibzada Fateh Singh is the youngest known martyr to sacrifice his life for the right to practice their religion and faith without the coercion or threat of terror.

 

For a full account of the history, this is a great link: http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Supreme_sacrifice
 

It was important for me to share this for two reasons: I am a mother and I am a proud Sikh. As a mother, I'd want to teach my baby to be strong willed and stand up for what he believes in at the very least.  Sahibzada Fateh Singh showed courage, determination, fearlessness  and free-will – all traits which I hope we as parents can instill in Arjun. As a Sikh, sacrifices like these are why we are able to live the life we do today.

 

Thanks for reading x

My Brightest Little Bauble

I love personalising our decorations with Arjun's cute self (in case you hadn't noticed hehe). Be it his feet, hands or face! 

This picture bauble made our tree extra special this year! 

I purchased it from Amazon for £13.99. The picture can be easily inserted and this particular one includes a colour changing LED light to add extra sparkle to your tree. If you are after something a little less pricey, I also found clear baubles without the LED light feature from Home Bargains for £1.99! 

It's my favourite Christmas decoration and it'll be going up every year!:) 

I'd love to hear about your personalised decoration ideas too! x

My Birth Story

So after a rollercoaster pregnancy, it was decided that I would be induced at 39 weeks given my risk of pre eclampsia. My consultant was brilliant and comforted me with all my anxieties (lots of them!). 

We decided that I was to be induced on a Sunday with hope that I'd be in established labour by the Monday or Tuesday when my consultant would be on duty. Things didn't quite go to plan! 

So I was admitted on the Sunday morning and was given a pessary. My contractions came on pretty much straight away and I was getting five contractions per ten minutes within three hours. By this time my husband had gone home to let Bruno out and my sister was with me. The midwife decided it was time for me to go down to the labour ward as the baby was on its way. "WHAT?!?!" I thought, "I thought I'd get at least a day to chill!!"  I was rushed down to labour ward with my terrified little sister who had not planned to be with me in labour.

 

On reaching there I was immediately taken to a delivery suite. "All systems go!" I thought, "soon the pain will be over and I'll have my little darling in my arms!!" I thought. The senior midwife came in to get me set up, "regular strong contractions" she said "I think this baby will be here tonight!" We called my husband who had rushed back by now. After faffing for what seemed like ages, the midwife checked how far dilated I was. "Oh" she said. "What's the matter?" I said. I was 0cm dilated and in severe pain with these contractions. I was one of the rare cases whereby the pessary induced contractions but didn't cause any dilation. I was given pethidine (which I'd sworn against!) and sent back up to labour ward.  

I felt deflated. 

After all that adrenaline (and pain!) there was nothing.  How much longer was this going to last?! I'd hoped that my regular contractions meant that my baby was going to be here soon.  I decided to make the most of whatever time I had at the hospital - with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it isn't often you get time to just sit back and do nothing (apart from contract :z). I was fortunate enough to be given my own room for the duration of my stay and was also allowed to have one visitor during non visiting hours which helped my time pass. I was allowed to have someone stay over at night but the midwives did such a great job at ensuring I was as comfortable as I could be in riding through the contractions that on a couple of the nights I told my husband to go home to get some rest to prepare for life after labour!

68 hours later, still having regular (painful but bearable!) contractions (my TENS machine helped lots), a pessary, two lots of gel and six internal examinations (ouch!) and 0cm dilation later it was decided that I would be taken down to labour ward where they would administer an epidural and force my waters open using a hook type thing (I really should know the technical term!).  They were unsure whether they would be able to break my waters as my cervix was far back and they were unsure if it would be possible.  Four epidural attempts (can you tell my life is full of drama?!) later, they successfully managed to break my waters. I was absolutely ecstatic! Woohoo! I was going to be able to deliver my precious little baby naturally!

Once I was comfortable (if that's what you want to call it - I couldn't move my legs myself!), they administered "the drip" to artificially bring on established labour. I'd heard this part would be easy - that I'd be able to sleep till I was fully dilated as it'd be pain free. Pain free it was. However the next 16 hours were spent with my midwife asking me to move positions every 15/20 minutes as my baby's heart rate kept dropping. It was like torture. I was exhausted from the past four days and I was so worried that something was wrong. At least for part of the time The Real Housewives of Atlanta was on to keep me distracted - one of my favourite shows!

16 hours later I felt the urge to push. I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted by this point but I gave it my best shot with my sister and husband egging me on. Unfortunately after two hours of pushing there was no sign of baby. At this point the consultant came in and informed that the baby's head was too far back and that I wouldn't be able to deliver naturally. I was then rushed to theatre for an emergency c section and after about 60 seconds of pulling and tugging our perfect little baby was born at 5.30am on Thursday 26th June weighing 7 lbs and 8 ounces.

Arjun - four hours old x

It was all a big blur and a few seconds after Arjun was born, I passed out. It was almost like my body gave way as soon as it knew our little prince was born ok.  All my hopes of skin to skin, saying a little prayer as soon as he was born and trying to feed him myself quickly became just a dream. Instead my blood pressure and heart rate dropped, I was unresponsive, Arjun's body temperature dropped - instead of the calm we were hoping for on the arrival of our little prince, Preetam was instead faced with a room full of doctors frantically rushing around standing there helpless whilst his son (just a few minutes old) was rushed to  an incubator and his wife lay unresponsive surrounded by medics. 

I woke up about four hours later in the HDU and was greeted by a smiling midwife, my husband and my gorgeous little baby boy. I  was exhausted but seeing him gave me a sudden burst of energy. He was just perfect! I couldn't believe he came from inside me. I tried to get up to pick him up and felt a sudden pang of sharp excruciating pain. My hope of being able to care for my newborn the minute he entered was another hope that turned in to a dream. Preetam fed him his first bottle, changed his first nappy and held him first. It broke my heart that I was physically unable to.

I remember the emotional roller coaster I went through the next few weeks being immobile and trying to deal with a newborn. I decided to try mixed feeding as I really wanted to give breast feeding a go. Plus they put an enormous amount of pressure on you at the hospital.

The midwives were absolutely lovely and it seemed like the whole of maternity knew my crazy journey. I felt like I received private health care with how attentive and helpful all the staff were. Having stayed there a total of eight nights plus my twice weekly trips to day care, they all became very familiar faces and I'm still in touch with some of them now.

My labour lasted a total of 84 hours but it was finally over and I would do it over and over just to have the most beautiful precious gift I could ever have imagined. I reminded myself that others go through a lot worse and not everyone gets the result that we did. What a roller coaster but I couldn't have done it without my husband and my sister. They were my pillars of support x

Now that six months have passed I can confidently say that as each day passes and Arjun gives us so many more memories, the whole labour experience becomes a distant memory.  We are truly blessed.

Remember, every birthing story is different as is every pregnancy!

Long post but I often get verbal diarrhea when sharing my thoughts! :)

Poem - Tugs at my Heart Strings!

I saw this poem whilst I was pregnant and I absolutely loved it.  The first time I read it, I cried so much (crazy hormones!).  I used to read it almost daily during my pregnancy – I found it heart rendering and it still evokes so much emotion in me.  I had to share! x

xxx

My Pregnancy ... The Good, Bad & The Ugly!

For some reason sharing the news made it feel a whole lot more real. I suddenly felt a huge amount of pressure to ensure all stayed ok. 

My pregnancy overall was classed as high risk due to having high blood pressure even pre pregnancy therefore increasing the risk of pre eclampsia. Therefore I was under consultant led care. Most would panic seeing "high risk" sprawled over their maternity notes. I saw it as a positive - it meant I would get extra care and extra scans which meant extra reassurance. 

 

First Trimester

My first trimester I had a few scares due to bleeding but after a few scans all appeared normal thanks to the almighty. I had more scans in the first trimester than most do in their whole pregnancy!! The local private scan clinic was on speed dial throughout my pregnancy lol.

It was a huge period of adjustment - getting used to the morning sickness (always whilst brushing my teeth!), the constant feeling of tiredness, the loss in appetite, the constant worry of my unborn child ANDDD the reality that I was soon going to be a mummy! I found that sniffing lemon candles helped with the sickness as did ginger biscuits! 

Once I‘d passed the 12 week mark, I purchased the Sonoline Fetal Doppler from amazon based on reviews.  It was on offer for £24.99 at the time and it was definitely a great buy. I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable with using a doppler at home but we found it really useful.  It gave me that reassurance at home. I asked my midwife to show me how to use it and it never took longer than a minute or two to find baby’s heartbeat. The doppler was great but I often found the sound a little husky.

My food aversions:

• Stir fry 
• Chinese
• Soya 
• Thai
• Egg

My food cravings: 

• Slush puppy
• Samosas



First trimester baby bump

Second Trimester

My second trimester got a lot better in terms of sickness but I suffered with sciatica. My blood pressure was also a constant worry but by this point I was going to day care twice a week to be monitored. Though the appointments lasted on average two hours each time (sometimes up to four!!), I really got to know all the midwives on the maternity ward at Hillingdon Hospital (Katherine Ward). They were absolutely amazing! I find their job so fascinating. I doubt there is any other job quite like it. I wish I had it in me to become a midwife. They provide so much care, comfort and reassurance to women who are so vulnerable. I don't know what I would have done without them. Getting to know them so well served me well during labour. 

I was also seeing my consultant at least once a month by this point and had a really great rapport with her. She was great at discussing things with us as opposed to simply calling all the shots.  She was an absolute God Send and I felt blessed to have all the right people surrounding me through such a scary journey.

Second trimester is when I really started to feel baby's movements by about 25 weeks. We felt our first kick just before we were about to leave home for the airport to catch our flight to Dubai for our last baby free holiday. It was such an amazing feeling and Preetam also got to feel it. 

We signed up to NCT classes which were a huge eye opener - especially the pictures of ladies in labour! :o I had no idea that's what I was going to look like - my dreams of wanting to look well made up and perfect during labour quickly came to an end!! We found NCT classes helpful in understanding the labour process but not necessarily with life post birth. Nevertheless we made some great friends who we regularly meet up with now. It's such a great way to share and consult too as you are all on the same journey. Also helps that one of my NCT buddies is a nanny of 20 years!

We decided to opt for the 4D scan at 28 weeks.  It was a lovely experience seeing our baby bobbing about in colour and in 3D.  He always had a habit of putting his hand to his head every time we had a scan, this one was no different!  We had our 4D scan at The London Scan Clinic at Harley Street - I would highly recommend them, they were always happy to answer any questions we had and always tried their best to get baby at different angles.

We decided not to find out the sex of the baby as we always said we wanted our first to be a surprise. That was really difficult for me as I’m a total control freak and love to be organised.  I don’t do well with uncertainty!

Second trimester is when I started making a shopping list for baby and we also made a start on the nursery. I felt so apprehensive about even putting a list together – I felt like I was tempting fate.  It was all so odd.

My food aversions:

• 1st trimester plus
• Kidney beans
• Dry fenugreek

My food cravings: 

• Nutella crepes
• My cousin sisters curry 
• Cheese (this still hasn't gone and really hasn't helped with shifting the "baby" weight!) 

Second trimester baby bump

Third Trimester 

My third trimester got harder as I got bigger and my sciatica got worse. I also suffered with carpal tunnel which was painful but wrist splints fitted by the hospital really helped though they were pretty restrictive at times!  I was hospitalised a few times due to fluctuations in my blood pressure and increased risk of pre eclampsia and palpitations. It was nerve wracking but I had the constant reassurance of my little baby's punches, kicks and rolls to know all was ok! Being hospitalised was odd as I was surrounded by other women at different stages of pregnancy.  Some were in early stages of labour – some looked so composed, whilst others were bawling; some were admitted for the same reason as me whilst others were still very early on.  


Not sure about others, but when I was pregnant, I almost wished time away as it’s a rollercoaster of anxiety and excitement and I just wanted baby to be here safe.  But as I got closer to the finish line, I almost wanted to hit the pause button as I realised how much my life was about to change. 

My sister in law gave me the best advice to go off on maternity leave early to enjoy some me time and it was one of the best pieces of advice I was given. I left work seven  weeks early and did all the things I felt like doing - afternoon teas with friends, lunch dates with my parents, spa day with my sisters, shopping trips with my sister in law, chilling on the sofa and watching movies, but most of all I wanted to catch up with friends and family that had babies to get used to what life was soon to become. I fully made the most out of my seven weeks off and really enjoyed that time.

My food aversions:

• Same as first and second trimester

My food cravings:

• Nutella crepes
• Cheese
• Pizza
• Costa peach lemonade (lucky Hillingdon Hospital have a Costa on site - got me through labour!)

Third trimester baby bump

 Thanks for reading! I'll be sharing my birthing story next :) x


 

Our Festive Baby Announcement Ideas (Christmas 2013)

We decided to share the news with our parents and siblings straight away despite the GPs advice to not until three months had passed. We made the call to share the news with our families as we wanted them to be a part of our journey and if something were to go wrong, we would need their support anyway.

We shared the news with our immediate family by preparing a personalised save the date card with a message from their unborn grandchild/niece/nephew.  It was a cute idea and they were thrilled when they read the message.  They were extremely emotional that they were about to embark on a new journey of grandparenthood! Not only a new chapter in our lives but also in theirs - their babies were going to have a baby!  

 

 

We told the extended family once we'd had our three month scan and everything appeared to be ok. It coincided well with Christmas and we were able to share the news in a festive way.  

We told my side of the family via a picture message of Bruno with a sign on standing infront of the Christmas tree.  The reactions were hilarious - I did receive a few phone calls to ask whether Bruno was pregnant! Haha! (Bruno is a boy!).

We shared the news with Preetam’s side of the family on Boxing Day as we have an annual family gathering so thought it would be nicer to share the news face to face. I prepared home made crackers with a picture of baby's scan and a message to all plus random bits such as a dummy rock, a baby foot eraser and a baby bottle filled with jelly babies! We got the family to sit in a large circle and crack the crackers at the same time. It probably took about 60 seconds for the first person to figure it out! They too were super excited as this was going to be the first grandchild on that side of the family. 

I bought all the cracker fillers from amazon/eBay.  12 crackers cost me approximately £20 in total and I was super happy with how effective they were!

 

Our family and friends were over joyed for us and it all started to feel a lot more real!

Thanks for reading! I hope you are able to find some baby announcement inspiration from this post! :)

Sleep Fighter!

So Arjun is almost 6 months old (on Boxing Day!) and I’ve found the last couple of days he’s fighting his sleep more than usual (he’s always been a fighter). Has anyone else found this around this age? Where before he would settle down for his naps himself, now it can take up to an hour to settle him.  Bed time is a-whole-nother story! The other night, it took us almost four hours to get him down! His teething cry is different to his "Mummy I'm knackered" cry - I’ve found once he’s passed the overtired line, it’s all over!! 

Google will probably tell me that it’s because he’s approaching a developmental milestone – I wonder if it’s really true or if its sprawled all across the web to comfort us mothers when things seem to go pear shaped! I’m hoping this is just a passing phase! The joys of motherhood :)

OMG WE'RE PREGNANT! (October 2013)

We'd recently returned from India and I was convinced my constant fatigue and dizziness was a combination of jet lag and a bug that I must have picked up.. Little did I know! 

After almost fainting at Sainsbury's and feeling repulsed by the smell of freshly baked cakes at work which would have once had me sucked right in, we decided it was a sensible idea for me to take a test. And BAM at 5am the next morning I did. We found out we were pregnant in mid October 2013. 
 

Excuse the picture quality!

 

Seeing the big blue cross when I checked the test result - I felt a mixture of emotions; surprise, excitement, panic, joy, anxious, nervous, fear, ecstatic! It was all so overwhelming and I was so shocked! My husband was cool as a cucumber in comparison!

I was over the moon that we were blessed enough to be given the opportunity to become parents but I was also terrified of embarking on the journey of motherhood and having a precious tiny little human dependent on me. Would I seriously be able to do it?! Well it was too late by then!! 

I called the GP that same morning who quickly deflated my excitement by telling me that things don't always end happily and to not get too excited. That set me off in to a panic frenzy. It soon went from self doubt and questioning myself to my maternal instinct kicking in and doing everything in my power to protect my little bean. 

I decided to keep a pregnancy journal to record my thoughts as I knew each day would be different and I felt it would be a way for me to communicate to my unborn child - even though he couldn't even see the journal let alone read it!! It gave me a sense of comfort. I would highly recommend it! 

Hey!

Hello!

A quick introduction ... My names Harps and I'm a mummy to one - my precious little Arjun (two if a doggy counts!). I've been married to Preetam for almost three years and we live in London. Some interesting (or not so interesting!) facts about me/us:

 

• We got married in Goa in 2012 
• We have a Rottweiler called Bruno 
• Baby Arjun was born in June 2014
• I have twin sisters and twins run in my family! Yikes!
• My husband lived in China for two years
• My favourite foods are pizza and Nutella

 

I never realised I was already informally doing a blog by recording a lot of my thoughts each day so thought it would be a cool idea to share some of those with you as well as our favourite bits and pieces and advice based on my experiences (I'm no self claimed expert though!). I thought it would be a great way to keep a record given I'm struggling with baby brain (it's definitely not a myth!)!

 

I'm starting this blog when Arjun is 25 weeks old/almost 6 months so a lot of my posts will be reflective or based on my journal :) 

 

I hope you enjoy keeping up to date with the ongoings of Mummy B and Arjun x