Paper Trail ...

Hey all!

Hope you're having a great day! 

I thought I'd share my experience of keeping a pregnancy journal with you. 

I kept a pregnancy journal from once I had had my first scan (at seven weeks due to a bleed).  I was really worried to do it beforehand just incase something went wrong and I became attached to the idea of having a baby.

I found keeping a journal such a great way of managing my anxiety and feelings.  For some reason I felt a whole lot lighter once I’d put my feelings down on paper.  If I feel brave enough, I may let Arjun read it one day (when I’m ready to accept that I’ll be ok with him thinking that his mummy’s a little loopy!).

I wrote at least once a week and mainly got down my excitement (although it was always tamed throughout my pregnancy as I was petrified of something going wrong) and my anxieties.

My pregnancy journal is really personal to me but I feel like by keeping a journal, I'm sharing my life and experiences of my pregnancy and motherhood so I thought I’d share a small snippet to give you a flavour of some of the emotions I went through. 

This particular extract relates to when I had a gush of water at 12 weeks and was told to come to the hospital immediately.  The doctor thought my waters had broken on examination.  It was such a terrifying experience and the emotions I went through whilst at the hospital were crazy.  Thankfully I had my sister and my mum with me who helped me get through it.  It was a long six hours! It also gave my mum the chance to meet her grandchild. 

 

 

A piece of advice to all pregnant ladies; never ignore any symptoms that are not normal for you or your baby. It's better to be safe than sorry.

I also visited triage on several occasions due to reduced movement and was never snubbed.  I was always monitored and on one occasion I needed a scan as the CTG was unable to detect a steady heartbeat (again a scary experience!). Never ignore your baby or your body no matter how trivial it may seem! 

The Count The Kicks app  is a great way to monitor movement in your third trimester. You can find more information on the organisation here: http://www.countthekicks.org.uk

Thanks for reading x

OMG WE'RE PREGNANT! (October 2013)

We'd recently returned from India and I was convinced my constant fatigue and dizziness was a combination of jet lag and a bug that I must have picked up.. Little did I know! 

After almost fainting at Sainsbury's and feeling repulsed by the smell of freshly baked cakes at work which would have once had me sucked right in, we decided it was a sensible idea for me to take a test. And BAM at 5am the next morning I did. We found out we were pregnant in mid October 2013. 
 

Excuse the picture quality!

 

Seeing the big blue cross when I checked the test result - I felt a mixture of emotions; surprise, excitement, panic, joy, anxious, nervous, fear, ecstatic! It was all so overwhelming and I was so shocked! My husband was cool as a cucumber in comparison!

I was over the moon that we were blessed enough to be given the opportunity to become parents but I was also terrified of embarking on the journey of motherhood and having a precious tiny little human dependent on me. Would I seriously be able to do it?! Well it was too late by then!! 

I called the GP that same morning who quickly deflated my excitement by telling me that things don't always end happily and to not get too excited. That set me off in to a panic frenzy. It soon went from self doubt and questioning myself to my maternal instinct kicking in and doing everything in my power to protect my little bean. 

I decided to keep a pregnancy journal to record my thoughts as I knew each day would be different and I felt it would be a way for me to communicate to my unborn child - even though he couldn't even see the journal let alone read it!! It gave me a sense of comfort. I would highly recommend it!